When we are having an argument with our partner we often aim at being "right". But deep down, what we really want from our partner is to be understood, that our partner "gets it".
Two mutually exclusive aims ;)
Aiming at being right is being in a powerstruggle. It entails inequality and one upmanship.
Wanting to be seen, understood and for our partner to get what is hurting us, is about staying equal, being vulnerable and opening up to each other.
So, next time you can feel yourself being drawn into an argument and wanting to be "right", let it go. Breath. Start again. Ask yourself: what do I deeply want my partner to understand? How do I truly feel, what soft emotion is beneath my desire to be right? And convey that emotion.
Could you use some help with this?
Do contact me! You don't need to go it alone.
Jolanda
Two mutually exclusive aims ;)
Aiming at being right is being in a powerstruggle. It entails inequality and one upmanship.
Wanting to be seen, understood and for our partner to get what is hurting us, is about staying equal, being vulnerable and opening up to each other.
So, next time you can feel yourself being drawn into an argument and wanting to be "right", let it go. Breath. Start again. Ask yourself: what do I deeply want my partner to understand? How do I truly feel, what soft emotion is beneath my desire to be right? And convey that emotion.
Could you use some help with this?
Do contact me! You don't need to go it alone.
Jolanda
